Sunday, January 6, 2008

A Lay Man's View On the Recent New Hampshire Debates:



I watched the New Hampshire debates last night. Kind of. Several things struck me in the Republican debate. 1. I don't like Mitt Romney. He reminds me of an evil claymation mormon hellbent on the destruction of civilization as we know it. I know it's not fair to judge by looks, but I don't like his voice either. He talks all syrupy nice, but I bet that's the same voice he uses to lure unsuspecting children into his ice cream truck. (Well it would be if he drove an ice cream truck and had the urge to lure unsuspecting children...monster).
2
. I don't even remember the name of the guy I really liked. Sure I could look it up now, but that's just what I'd have to do and that would defeat my point if I had one to make. He was an older guy who used to be a Libertarian. He talked sensibly but didn't really seem to have a plan...the other candidates just treated him like a fly. It was as if they were saying "yeah that's cute, what's yer name? but this isn't about facts and truth and intelligent dialogue, this is American politics...it's about the pretense of civility and pretending to have easy answers...not actual issues..." I liked that guy though but he doesn't have a prayer.
3
. The guy from "Law and Order" was funny but seemed like a smug dickhead that you still kind of liked. He won't win though.
4
.John McCain seems like he has been partially preserved with formaldehyde.
5. Giuliani seems like a closet Nazi...but at least he takes care of his mistresses.
6.
Huckabee seemed pretty smart but it just took me a real long time to think of his name or face....come to think of it, they all kind of blurred into each other.
And finally...
7.
I just wish someone would just use the word "Mexicans" when they're talking about illegal immigrants. That's what they're talking about. Keeping out the fucking Mexicans. And kicking out some of the ones that are already here. They're talking about building a wall between the US and Mexico so that's who they are referring to when they talk about "illegals". So somebody just fucking have the balls to say it. Pussy ass Nazi bastards.

And then there's the democrats. Hillary, Barack, Richardson, Edwards and whoever. I don't think there was anyone else. If there was, there won't be much longer. A few things stood out there as well.
1. Hillary is Hillary. But why is she the strong woman in one moment and the mock sad girl the next saying "That hurts my feelings". Somebody asked her how she felt essentially, about being less likable than Barak. This hurt her feelings. Hillary isn't likable. She's always seemed very forceful and driven, intelligent and ambitious, shrewd and calculating, never likable. So bite your pouting lip and be the avenging bitch superhero.
2. Barack is going to win. He's likable and has a deep voice.
3. John Edwards is kind of a pansy. I think he should be an interior designer.
4. Richardson is good but lacks charisma. And when I'm thinking about him now he looks more Republican.

These are not erudite thoughts. I know you were thinking they were. But they're not. I just wanted to give an average opinion of Juan Schmoe after watching some of the debates last night...To sort out my own thoughts about who I will be bitching about the next four years after not voting for any of them.

God Bless America

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